I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
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I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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