just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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