Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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