i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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