By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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