People in love make me want to vomit
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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