If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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