there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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