While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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