There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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