ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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