In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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