After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think my fart just growled at me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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