if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize