she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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