i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Farmville is her only friend.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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