I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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