i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
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He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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