I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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