I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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