Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize