Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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