his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize