so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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