Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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