think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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