Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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