I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Alive.
So much puke
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize