wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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