I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize