It's Friday. Sex?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize