Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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