ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
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As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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