i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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