piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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