The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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