you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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