so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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