Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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