Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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