Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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