You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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