Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize