the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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