we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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