Non-Jews are for practice
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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