I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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