My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize