Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
look no pants
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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