You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i out mim tonsoeep
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